wavenovel Chapter 1403 Keep it up!
Chapter 1403 Keep it up!
Chapter 1403 Keep it up!
When he realized the special meaning suddenly attached to the photo, seeing the smiling group photo, Ji Kyung-won felt an inexplicable bittersweet feeling welled up in his heart.
Just as he was gazing at the photo, slightly lost in thought, his phone suddenly rang, displaying the name Kim Tae-yeon.
"Jingyuan!"
As soon as the call connected, Kim Tae-yeon's voice came through urgently, her trembling and urgency conveyed through her slightly hoarse voice: "Kyung-won, have you heard? Have you heard? Jonghyun's matter, Jonghyun..."
Kim Tae-yeon paused several times, her flustered state mirroring that of Chi Kyung-won just moments before.
"I see…"
Ji Jingyuan replied in a low voice, paused slightly, and then continued, "That's true... I just found out. I'm on my way back to Seoul now."
"You already know? That makes sense." Upon hearing that Ji Kyung-won already knew, Kim Tae-yeon seemed to calm down immediately, and then asked eagerly, "Then do you know why Jonghyun... did he do that?"
"..."
A brief silence followed: "Nuna, I don't know either."
"..."
Upon hearing Ji Jingyuan's words, there was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. Then, Kim Tae-yeon seemed to be on the verge of emotional collapse: "I just received a call from my manager, telling me that Jonghyun... had an accident. I didn't believe it at first, but I confirmed it several times..."
"Waaah..." The woman's voice was clearly choked with sobs.
"Oh no, how could this be..."
"How could this be..."
"impossible!"
Her slightly sobbing voice kept repeating the same words as she tried to deny this cruel reality: "It's too sudden, no, no... I can't accept it."
"Jingyuan, do you remember? We just had a get-together a few days ago. I remember Jonghyun seemed perfectly normal then, nothing seemed off. We even agreed to meet up somewhere else next time, and he even gave us some suggestions, remember?"
"How could he suddenly... just... just commit suicide?"
It was very difficult for Kim Tae-yeon to say the word 'suicide'.
Emotions are contagious, especially since Chi Kyung-won was already in a dazed, confused, and painful state. Hearing Kim Tae-yeon's breakdown and incoherent words, he felt a tightness in his chest and a bittersweet feeling welling up in his eyes.
However, Chi Jingyuan held back: "I know, I remember it very clearly, so I can't figure it out either."
"..."
The sudden death of a close friend plunged both of them into silence for a time.
"Hey, Kyungwon." After a dozen seconds, Kim Tae-yeon suddenly spoke, lowering her voice, "You must have some special news, right? Is Jonghyun really...?"
Kim Tae-yeon asked the same question that Ji Kyung-won had just asked Park Jae-hyun... Everyone didn't believe that Kim Jonghyun would suddenly commit suicide, so they felt something was amiss.
"..."
Chi Jingyuan took a deep breath and gave a somewhat cruel answer: "Nuna, based on the information I've received... it should be correct."
Even after hanging up the phone, Ji Kyung-won could still faintly hear Kim Tae-yeon repeatedly muttering, "How could this be?"
The call had just ended, and before Chi Jingyuan could even lock his screen, it rang again.
…………
The van sped along the highway and finally arrived in Seoul around 8 p.m.
During the two-hour drive, Ji Kyung-won was on the phone almost the entire time. Almost all his friends, especially his close associates at SM Entertainment, called to confirm the truth of the matter concerning Kim Jonghyun, and also to ask questions similar to those asked about Kim Tae-yeon.
Chi Jingyuan was already a well-known chaebol heir in his social circle, wielding immense influence.
After the car accident involving Kim Tae-yeon, he unknowingly became a pillar of support for his friends, both spiritually and psychologically.
In fact, they weren't wrong. Chi Jingyuan did know earlier and more than they did. He could communicate directly with the police station and knew a lot of inside information that wouldn't be leaked.
Even so, he still felt powerless, just like everyone else.
And frankly, he doesn't want to be a pillar right now.
He himself was also confused, and even somewhat fearful.
The van entered downtown Seoul and sped toward the SM building.
Not knowing where to go, I can only go back to the company first.
I took out my phone, which I had finally managed to quiet down, and checked the latest news. Sure enough, the news of Kim Jong-hyun's death instantly went viral on Korean Peninsula and even became a trending topic worldwide.
Just now, SM Entertainment released a statement confirming the death and calling for "respect for the family's grief and avoidance of speculation and false reporting."
But how could the explosive impact of such an event be stopped by a mere comment?
Online, SHINee's fans were in a state of disbelief and despair:
"It's 8 p.m. on December 18, 2017. The longest day of my life. The world has lost its brightest star."
"I'm still waiting for your concert tomorrow... This must be a nightmare, right?"
"Jonghyun, tell me this isn't real..."
"Tell us the truth! How could he have committed suicide!"
"It's too dark. The entertainment industry on the peninsula is just too dark."
After the news of Jonghyun's death was confirmed and SM Entertainment officially announced it, social media was flooded with tears. Many fans posted black images, heartbreak emojis, and photos of Jonghyun smiling, with captions such as "Please tell me this isn't true" and "Come back."
Even those who weren't fans expressed shock and regret.
But looking at all this online, at the heart-wrenching cries of fans, at the indifference and regret of passersby, at the dazzling Seoul night view outside the window, at all this commotion, Ji Kyung-won still felt a strong sense of unreality.
It feels empty and unreal.
The nanny van arrived at the company, where a large crowd had already gathered at the building entrance.
Even though Kim Jong-hyun's news had only been made public for less than three hours, fans had already flocked to the site. Ji Kyung-won looked out the window and saw many fans holding handwritten banners:
"Tell us the truth."
“Give Jonghyun back to us.”
The temperature in Seoul has been very low these past few days. They braved the cold wind, filled with grief and despair, as well as an indescribable expectation. Even though many of them were crying, they still eagerly awaited every car that entered or left SM, as if hoping that the person in their hearts would get out of a car and greet them with a smile.
Upon joining the company, the chaotic state of affairs also impressed Chi Jingyuan.
Chi Jingyuan went from the first floor to the fourth floor, and finally up to the eighth floor. All the lights on every floor were on, and all the staff were working overtime, walking around, looking dusty and exhausted. It was crowded and chaotic.
I have no idea... what they're doing in all this chaos.
Ji Kyung-won arrived at the eighth floor, which is usually where meetings and discussions are held. It was also the busiest place at this time, with many staff members, company representatives, and SM artists gathered there.
Jonghyun is very popular and knows most of the artists in the company well. In particular, given the shocking nature of this incident, many people spontaneously came to the company to ask what happened and what to do next.
Even if you don't know what to do, finding a place with more people seems to make you feel more at ease.
The artists who were in the event also temporarily canceled their activities and stayed at the company.
"Jingyuan!"
As soon as Chi Jingyuan arrived, he saw many familiar faces. Many of his friends from the previous gathering were there, and they all greeted him spontaneously.
But Chi Jingyuan just nodded and didn't go over. He looked at the chaotic crowd and found a sofa to sit down.
He didn't know what to do. He felt inexplicably empty inside, his chest felt heavy and oppressive, and his emotions were in a very strange and dangerous state.
So, all I can do is stare blankly.
A short while later, Ji Jingyuan also saw Red Velvet and Bae Joo-hyun. They seemed to have arrived earlier and were gathered together talking to Kim Tae-yeon. Including Kim Tae-yeon, the women's eyes were red, as if they had just had a good cry together.
When Bae Joo-hyun saw Ji Kyung-won, she kept staring at him. When she saw him find a place to sit down and that he seemed to be in a bad mood, she briefly spoke a few words to the people next to her and walked straight over.
Having been entangled together for so long, Bae Joo-hyun knows Ji Kyung-won very well. She knows that he is actually a very sentimental and affectionate person.
She knew that this seemingly mature man was actually quite childish at times, and that he must have felt very bad about encountering something like this.
Although there were many people around, the young lady didn't say anything about avoiding them and sat down directly next to Chi Jingyuan.
She watched as Chi Jingyuan slowly turned to look at her after hearing the noise, his gaze somewhat lost. Ignoring her slightly reddened eyes, she leaned over, placed her hand in Chi Jingyuan's, and asked with concern:
"...Are you alright?"
"..."
Chi Jingyuan shook his head, unsure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.
However, upon hearing the familiar voice, he smiled and shook Bae Joo-hyun's hand in return.
The two of them sat there, watching the noisy crowd walking around in the distance. Although they didn't say much, they felt a little better, which had been making them feel suffocated.
Just then, a series of footsteps sounded in the distance. They paused for a few seconds as if searching for something, and then walked straight towards them.
"Jingyuan..."
Park Jae-hyun suddenly appeared in front of Ji Kyung-won, holding a tablet in his hand. After seeing Ji Kyung-won, he greeted him but didn't get down to business. Instead, he patted Ji Kyung-won on the back and asked, "Are you alright?"
"..."
Seemingly tired, Chi Kyung-won shook his head slightly and looked at the tablet in Park Jae-hyun's hand: "What's wrong, hyung? Any new news?"
"The police have ruled out homicide and confirmed it as suicide because a suicide note was found."
Park Jae-hyun bent down and whispered in Ji Kyung-won's ear, in a voice that Ji Kyung-won and Bae Joo-hyun next to him could hear, but not those further away, "Jong-hyun-ssi had already written a will before taking his own life and entrusted it to his friends and family for safekeeping. The police have just obtained it."
"His suicide note explained the reasons for his suicide and his mental state. It contained a lot of information, some of which could not be released. However, after discussions with Jonghyun's family, a portion of it will be released tomorrow as a way of giving the public and fans an explanation."
As he spoke, Park Jae-hyun handed the tablet to Ji Kyung-won, his voice low: "Among the parts that won't be made public, there might be a part that's related to you, Kyung-won, and I think you might want to see it."
"A suicide note?"
Chi Jingyuan murmured the word to himself as he took the tablet. The tablet wasn't heavy, but it felt very heavy in his hand.
He opened his tablet and started looking down at it, while Bae Joo-hyun next to him didn't seem to want to participate; she just sat quietly beside him.
"It's been really tough so far. Please tell me you've had a hard time and take me here. This is my final farewell."
The first sentence of the suicide note sent a chill down Chi Jingyuan's spine.
“I have been plagued by depression since I was a child. Depression eventually consumed me. I couldn’t overcome it. I hated myself. No matter what I told myself, ‘This is who I am, this is my life, and I need to keep living,’ I was still empty.”
"I had difficulty breathing, as if something was pulling me into an abyss. I struggled desperately but couldn't grasp anything. It wasn't so much that I didn't understand the meaning of the words, but rather that my mind was completely blank. I couldn't heal myself."
"..."
One by one, the last words Kim Jonghyun wrote before he left drew Ji Kyungwon into his world.
This was the first time he had ever entered this guy's inner world... It was also the first time he had ever learned that Kim Jong-hyun actually had severe depression.
In Chi Jingyuan's previous view, this was not a very serious illness; it was neither common nor rare, and for many people, it was even considered a kind of "whining without illness."
However, even just reading the words, Chi Jingyuan seemed to be able to feel the despair of him, who was trapped in an abyss, struggling, but unable to break free.
Is that why?
His previous doubts and confusion seemed to have been answered, but the answer was too cold and cruel, making his hands tremble slightly.
They considered themselves very good friends, but for so long, Ji Kyung-won had no idea that Kim Jonghyun was suffering so much every day.
"...Stop here and say thank you for your hard work. Even if you can't see me off with a smile, please don't blame anyone. Thank you, I really have worked hard. Goodbye."
Upon seeing the last sentence, Chi Jingyuan seemed to see an old friend, as if he had finally unloaded something, and waved goodbye with a smile, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
In an instant, he felt his eyes redden, and a strong sense of bitterness filled his heart.
He closed his eyes, trying to alleviate the distressing emotions. Finally opening them, Ji Jingyuan let out a heavy sigh and continued reading the part of the suicide note that Park Jae-hyun had mentioned—the part that might be related to him.
“Yes, the thought of running away has always been there. Yes, I want to run away, from myself, from you. Ask me where I want to run to? Anywhere is fine.”
"If I had to talk about direction, I have a good friend that I admire very much. He is excellent, loyal, friendly, and does everything very well."
"He always stays true to himself. Even when he makes mistakes, he has the ability to correct them and make changes to improve the lives of those around him. Every time I see him, I think to myself, 'This is the kind of person I want to be.'"
“He was the direction I wanted to escape from. I prayed desperately at night, asking if I could live like him for even just one day. I wanted to try living like him, to let the people around me know, ‘This is the real me,’ to correct the many mistakes I made before, and to help everyone become better.”
"I think one day should be enough."
"Keep it up, friend. I'm so grateful that you listened to my pointless complaints before. Keep it up, you can definitely do better than me."