wavenovel Chapter 1405 Transformation
Chapter 1405 Transformation
Chapter 1405 Transformation
My thoughts were out of control all night, as if I had a fever, and I couldn't help but think about all sorts of things.
It felt like I was asleep, but very lightly asleep, and I could clearly feel my thoughts.
It seemed like I wasn't asleep, but all sorts of bizarre hallucinations kept appearing, even more unreal than a dream.
He didn't know how much time had passed when Chi Jingyuan opened his eyes again. Clear light streamed into the room through the window, and the dappled shadows and sunlight told him that it was already the next day.
He sat up in bed, but the simple act of getting up made him feel dizzy and lightheaded, as if his thoughts and memories had come to a standstill. His head suddenly felt ten times heavier, heavy and dull, even worse than a hangover.
Sitting on the bed, Chi Jingyuan seemed not to be fully awake, staring blankly out the window.
A little closer, several green plants grew exceptionally well, and the neatly trimmed grass in the center of the villa's courtyard had lost its deep summer green and was now tinged with a pale yellowish-green.
Further away, the sun was already hanging on the horizon, its light shining fairly on everything in sight. A ray of light shone through the window onto the bed in front of Chi Jingyuan, but it felt cold and desolate, making the room seem a little bleak.
I heard that Seoul was gloomy and snowing lightly a few days ago, making the whole city seem very dull, but it cleared up yesterday and the sun came out brightly.
However, considering what had happened, Chi Jingyuan felt a faint sense of absurdity, as if the situation had been reversed.
He blinked, feeling a little uncomfortable. The tears that had flowed out unconsciously that night made his eyes sore and slightly swollen, and the corners of his eyes felt a bit dry. He rubbed his eyes a couple of times and felt a distinct grainy texture.
He didn't know how long he had been sitting there until a beam of light shone directly into his eyes. Chi Jingyuan suddenly felt a sting, rubbed his eyes, and came to his senses. He looked around at the spacious and luxurious bedroom.
The thoughts and emotions that had been entangled with him last night had subsided considerably, but they didn't seem to have lessened. Instead, they felt like an even heavier weight pressing down on his heart, and that heavy feeling still lingered.
Thinking of this sudden misfortune, I felt a strong sense of blockage in my heart and couldn't help but sigh.
After stretching his body and getting out of bed, just as he was thinking about what to do, Chi Jingyuan suddenly felt as if something was missing.
My phone, which I always have with me, is gone.
He looked around and found the phone that he had left face down on the table last night because he didn't want to be disturbed.
I walked over, picked it up, and unlocked it. Instantly, the screen was flooded with message notifications, almost overflowing the screen. There were dozens of text messages alone, not counting chat apps and missed calls.
Seeing so many messages, Chi Jingyuan frowned... He was in a really bad mood, which made him have no interest in communicating with people at all.
Moreover, he was very sad, but he was unwilling to show his vulnerable side to others.
This isn't a work phone; people who can send text messages to this phone are mostly familiar friends.
Ji Jingyuan opened the text message, initially frowning, expecting it to be another barrage of questions about Kim Jonghyun's situation and inside information, just like the phone call yesterday.
But as he looked closer, he realized that things weren't quite as he had imagined:
Kim Tae-yeon: I still can't accept what happened to Jonghyun, it was so sudden... But I noticed you weren't quite right at the company last night. Kyungwon, do you feel that you also bear some responsibility for what happened to him? Actually, I feel that way too, but my manager kept telling me yesterday, 'Don't think like that, don't fight internally,' and you should think like that too.
Bae Joo-hyun: Are you alright? There's still a commotion at the company, and I'm about to leave too. Our schedules are temporarily suspended for the next couple of days. I'll come see you tonight and tomorrow.
Bae Joo-hyun: I can't get through on the phone... but that's okay, I'll get some sleep first, goodnight.
Jung Eun-ji: I'm heading back to Seoul tomorrow. Let's go out for drinks then... Don't stay there all alone, because I didn't even realize that some things, once they've happened, are truly unstoppable.
Choi Sulli: Jonghyun oppa's situation really scared me to death. I just cried for ages, and I couldn't get through to you on the phone... Kyungwon, you have to be okay. If you're unhappy, please tell me. I may not be as smart as you, but I can hold my liquor really well.
Last night, many friends sent messages to Ji Kyung-won, and the messages continued until three or four in the morning. The main topic, of course, was lamenting the situation of Kim Jong-hyun.
At the same time, many people came specifically to care about him and offer him guidance.
It seems that his friends all know what kind of personality Chi Jingyuan has. Even in this situation, even without seeing it with their own eyes, they can immediately notice his thoughts and his emotions.
I see him as a pillar of support or a source of confidence, but I also see him as a friend who needs care, comfort, and genuine treatment.
As he watched, Chi Jingyuan felt as if he had gained some strength, and the tightness and congestion in his chest eased a little.
Besides the intense shock, pain, and confusion brought about by the sudden death of a close friend, what made Ji Kyung-won most distressed by Kim Jonghyun's soft voice was the 'possible salvation' and the words Kim Jonghyun said to him in his suicide note.
He idealized him too much, portraying him as 'the direction one wants to escape from,' 'the person one wants to become, even if only for a day.'
But Ji Kyung-won knew that he wasn't as good as Kim Jong-hyun thought, and he wasn't the perfect person described in his suicide note.
The aspirations and dreams of a friend, in the context of their passing, bring not only endless regret, but also boundless pressure and burden.
But now it seems that he wasn't as bad at self-doubt as he was when he was emotionally confused.
...He did help a lot of people and became a very important friend in many people's hearts. Without him, many people might not have changed much, but they might have gone down a different path and experienced bad things.
He truly made many people around him better.
Although... there are still regrets.
Chi Jingyuan's expression softened, and he replied to a few text messages one by one.
After reading all the unread text messages, Chi Jingyuan suddenly noticed a name that seemed familiar yet strangely unfamiliar.
Minatozaki Saka.
"I know that what happened to Jonghyun is very sad and regrettable, and it must have made Oppa very sad. I... don't know how to comfort him, but I hope Oppa remembers that there are many happy things in life, and many people who love you."
"I know Oppa, you probably don't want to see me, you don't want to see someone like me, so if you feel uncomfortable about it, please... please pretend you didn't see me, thank you."
Chi Jingyuan was taken aback when he saw the text message from Minatozaki Sana.
He read the three simple lines of text over and over again, and then couldn't help but scroll up, only to find that the last time he texted Minatozaki Sana was several months ago during that game.
And going further back, we'll reach the beginning of the year.
Because of the confrontation and conflict at the gym, and his displaced anger, the two of them had already fallen out. Chi Jingyuan had never given her a kind look before, and Minatozaki Sana... seemed to be holding a grudge as well, so she deliberately acted out the way he imagined.
Previously, whether after working at the gym or during their collaboration, the two had no private contact whatsoever.
But unexpectedly, this time, she suddenly sent a text message.
Does that mean you no longer care about what happened before?
Or, even if she minds, does she genuinely care about him?
A strange and awkward feeling welled up in his heart. Chi Jingyuan unconsciously pursed his lips and moved his fingers slightly, wanting to just swipe the text message away as before... Although he had rationally known his mistakes and problems before, his emotions and pride prevented him from bowing his head and apologizing, which made him feel somewhat uncomfortable every time he saw Minatozaki Sana.
So, out of sight, out of mind.
Just as my finger was about to press the screen and slide, it inexplicably stopped.
The center of my thumb has been pressed so hard that it's etched with texture, and the screen feels cool to the touch.
But it remained firmly stationary there.
Something seemed to suddenly come to mind, and a special emotion and indescribable turmoil welled up in my heart.
There was an inexplicable force, emotion, feeling, and reason that was stopping, pleading with, and rebuking Chi Jingyuan for doing this.
His hand remained frozen on the screen, motionless, as if he suddenly didn't know what to do.
Chi Jingyuan was also somewhat lost in thought. He looked up at the window and gazed at the increasingly bright sun. The sunlight shone directly on his face, making him squint slightly.
After a while, he seemed to come to his senses, picked up his phone again, loosened his slightly stiff fingers, and reread Minatozaki Sana's text message.
For some reason, when my eyes fell on the words "someone like me," I felt a strange unease.
He glanced at his phone, then looked out the window. His earlier confusion and hesitation gradually subsided. He sighed, picked up his phone, and began typing rapidly:
"Thank me……"
He had just typed "thank you" when Chi Jingyuan paused and stopped there.
After a few seconds of silence, he pressed the undo button repeatedly, deleting all the thank-you messages he had just typed out in his reply.
He knew that Sana Minatozaki needed more than just a thank you; she needed an apology.
But should he really apologize? To be honest, Ji Kyung-won hasn't made a decision yet.
At the same time, he felt that some things should not be simply expressed in a few pale words in a text message.
How about... we can chat next time we meet?
He stared at the long-blank text message interface, blinked, and suddenly this thought popped into his mind.
An apology isn't mandatory; we're just chatting casually... If it doesn't work out, that's fine too.
So... that's how it is?
I don't know why, but when he had this idea and made this decision, which even yesterday seemed out of character for him...
In that instant, even though the trip hadn't actually taken place yet, I felt a lot more relaxed.
This sense of relief came suddenly, like a crumpled piece of paper that had been held tightly in one's hand being gently unfolded and smoothed out, along with the wrinkles in one's heart.
After glancing at Sana Minato's text messages one last time, Ji Jingyuan swiped the screen.
After Sana Minatozaki, I saw messages from many other people, such as Mina Mina and Tzuyu, especially Tzuyu who posted several messages at once.
She not only sent text messages, but also made many phone calls, with more than a dozen missed calls alone.
When Chi Jingyuan saw this number, he could almost feel the anxiety and restlessness that the black girl had at the time.
He called Chou Tzu-yu, but no one answered; she was probably busy with work.
After quickly checking the other missed calls and replying to some of them, Chi Jingyuan went into the bathroom and took a shower.
Yesterday, I returned to Seoul from Gangwon Province, covered in dust and sweat. I didn't even wash up before lying down, and now I feel very uncomfortable.
“...SM worked overtime until very late yesterday, mainly to discuss Jonghyun’s funeral arrangements and some public relations matters.”
After taking a shower, Ji Kyung-won called Park Jae-hyun to hear about the progress of the matter.
"Jong-hyun's will will be released at 10 a.m., and a memorial service will be held at Asan Medical Center in Seoul for two days starting today, with the funeral procession on the 21st."
Park Jae-hyun asked, "Kyung-won, are you going?"
"Ah."
"Is it with the members of XO, or..."
"I... I'll go by myself."
Chi Jingyuan considered for two seconds: "I'll go back to the film crew after the funeral. Brother, could you ask the crew for leave for me again..."
But as he was saying that, he suddenly realized, "Wait, no, there's a subway song that Eunji and I are going to release on the 22nd, and XO is also going to make a comeback soon."
"I forgot to tell you, SM decided yesterday to temporarily suspend most of the schedules and activities of its artists, and the SM Twon event next week has also been canceled."
"Given the current situation, it's hard to say about the subway song, but EXO definitely won't be making a comeback, and the album will have to be postponed."
"Is this so..."
Upon hearing the news of the postponement of his comeback, Chi Jingyuan was taken aback for a moment, but quickly replied, "That's true..."
At this point, how could anyone possibly be in the mood to return?
"Jingyuan, when are you going to the memorial service? Do you need me to pick you up?" Park Jae-hyun asked again over the phone.
"..."
After a few seconds of silence, Chi Jingyuan said softly, "This afternoon, later."
As a top-tier celebrity in the industry with a great network of friends, Kim Jong-hyun's memorial service will definitely attract many people—familiar friends, acquaintances in the industry, people just there for the fun, and even strangers who are just there for show.
But Ji Kyung-won didn't want to be with the others.
Because this might be the last time he sees this guy.
After hanging up with Park Jae-hyun, before Ji Kyung-won could even catch his breath, Chou Tzu-yu's phone rang.
"You finally answered the phone!"
"What's wrong? Even if you're upset, you can't just ignore the phone. I called you as soon as I saw the message yesterday, and when you didn't answer, I kept calling and calling and calling until I was so worried. I was about to ask my agent for leave to go to your house to see what was going on."
The call connected, and Zhou Ziyu's urgent and hurried voice came through the phone. Her familiar Taiwanese accent was not as calm and composed as usual; it even carried a hint of a sob.
But after her initial complaint, her tone immediately softened, and she asked with concern, "Um, are you alright? I know you must be very upset after something like this happened..."
As Zhou Ziyu suppressed her dissatisfaction and worry, and began to offer the comforting words she had already told Chi Jingyuan, Chi Jingyuan suddenly interrupted her in a low voice:
"Feel sorry……"
"..."
Upon hearing those two short words, Zhou Ziyu was stunned, as if she had misheard. Her voice suddenly rose, sounding even more worried than before: "You, what's wrong with you?"